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Have you ever felt like you didn’t make the cut as if you were uninvited, not accepted, or flawed somehow?

 

Ephesian 1:11 has become one of my life verses. It says, “…He chose us in advance and He makes everything work out according to His plan.” Our flaws aren’t a surprise to God. Joyce Meyer said it this way, “God knew that we would strike out before He let us play the game”(God’s Not Mad at You). I love this thought. God never has expected us to be perfect and even better, He knew how many times we would strike out and He still chose us!

Unfortunately, life doesn’t always make us feel like we’ve been picked. People cut us from their team. Some of the hardest moments of my life have been when I’ve been misunderstood and not accepted or seen for who I really am.

I am so glad we have a God that sees our heart even when others don’t.

We are all flawed but instead of being cut from the team, God gently pushes us back up to the plate saying, “Try again – I picked you. I believe in you!” God loves it when we let Him shine through our weakness.

The thing is you may never be understood by others because you are called to do things so beyond man’s understanding. God’s ways are not man’s ways. Roman 12:2 tells us to not conform to this world – but BE DIFFERENT!

I want to be all Christ has called me to be whether or not I am accepted by others. I guess it is actually a guarantee that when we follow Christ fully there will always be people that don’t understand us and down right reject us. But one thing I know for sure, I am always welcome on God’s team and SO ARE YOU! He is the greatest coach. There are no flaws he can’t work out of you. Don’t be afraid to step on His playing field and even strike out a time or two. We have security in his unfailing, unfathomable, and unconditional love for us. It never runs out!

Be Blessed – BE A LIGHT!

 

 

Here is a little sneak peak on forgiveness from my book, Shining Freely! 

I remember wanting to throw the book The Love Dare out the window or burn it – even better. I was deeply wounded in my marriage and I wasn’t about to be the first one to change. I remember thinking, “He doesn’t do this for me, why should I do this for him?” I didn’t want to let go of all my record of wrongs. Somehow it protected me, justified me. What I didn’t know then that I do know now, is all that holding on, only led to more of the same.

Marriage wasn’t what I expected. The truth is early on we wounded each other because we were wounded. The walking wounded – walk offended! He said things, I said things and our hearts were pierced. He didn’t do things I expected, and I was this weird emotional animal he couldn’t understand. I lived disappointed, he lived shamed. We trigger each other’s ugly cycle every time we peered through lenses clouded by our wounded moments. It wasn’t until I began to see him as he truly was that things began to change.

My husband and I were at a little, quaint Irish pub celebrating our 10 year anniversary, and in a moment of vulnerability he said to me, “You finally see me.” My heart sank and shattered into a puddle of tears as I sat staring in disbelief. I had been wanting him to be something he wasn’t and I’d missed out on who he truly was. Sometimes God brings you the person you need most, who will rub off the layers in your heart that are keeping you from becoming the person He wants you to be. But first we have to let go of offense and be willing to look at our reflection honestly.

The truth is what you don’t let go of, won’t let go of you. I had to seek God’s perspective about myself and my husband to let go of things that were killing my chances of having the marriage I dreamed of. There is no way around it, in this life we will experience moments of betrayal that cut us deeply, moments we can’t seem to forgive ourselves for, and moments we feel God has failed us.  I’ve realized, however, that there is a key that unlocks the door to freedom from these hurtful moments like no other. It’s called forgiveness. In order to Shine freely we need to embrace a lifestyle of forgiving our self, others, and even God for the moments in our lives that we have unanswered Whys.

WHAT FORGIVENESS ISN’T

Forgiveness is not forgetting, dismissing, excusing, and pretending it doesn’t hurt. Forgiveness is not necessarily reconciliation or continuing to submit to a relationship that is toxic and destructive. Forgiveness does not mean you silence your voice and let your boundaries be broken. Forgiveness is not approval of what someone did or justifying their actions. Forgiveness is most certainly not taking false responsibility for hurtful acts others committed at your expense!

Forgiveness is not just another Christian ritual or rule to be followed. We can get stuck into believing we need to prove that we are faithful Christians by making a blanket statement of forgiveness over those who hurt us while still holding on to self-hate, offense, and anger at God for allowing pain to occur. When we deny our hurt and say with our words we forgive, while holding un-forgiveness deep in our hearts we are not really forgiving. Ask yourself can I bless the person who hurt me or do I still think about them with contempt? Do I trust God with my life and believe even when things don’t go exactly as planned that He loves me? Can I let myself off the hook for things I have done or have happened to me or do I continually beat myself up for my mistakes? Your answers to these deeper questions may reveal a root of un-forgiveness.

SO JUST WHAT IS FORGIVENESS?

Forgiveness is acknowledging the hurt without letting it define you. Forgiveness is a refusal to stay offended or seek to punish. Forgiveness is letting go of self-defense to trust in God’s protection. Forgiveness is refusing to hold onto a list of past wrongs committed. Forgiveness is a lifestyle of letting go of bitterness, resentment, and contempt –refusing to chew on its poison. Forgiveness is grace-filled towards oneself and others. Forgiveness is granting permission for others and ourselves to make mistakes. Forgiveness is an inner condition of the heart that seeks God’s perspective above all others. Forgiveness chooses to release the offender, despite the hurt, so that the enemy loses his ground in your heart (2 Corinthians 2:10-11).

In the end, forgiveness is a lifestyle. Graham Cooke says, ” It is not your job to change people, only demonstrate what God is really like.”

What if we learned to walk in radical forgiveness instead of constant offense? What if we always sought God’s bigger picture – His view of the situation or person first? I am certain our lives would be vastly different!

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9

Be Blessed – Be a LIGHT!

For real change to occur wreckage is required. I’m learning how to accept this process – the messy process of transformation in me and in others. The truth is we are all works in progress – learning to walk out God’s way of thinking and being.

To be transformed in the image of Christ some things must come down. You see we can be taunted by painful moments we don’t understand and then believe negative messages about our self instead of truth. Then we build walls around our hurt and devise faulty strategies that we think will protect us. However, in the long run all we do is create barriers that keep us from freedom.

Our old ways of thinking and being in this world can’t stay in place if we want to receive all that God has for us. The words you believe about yourself become your identity and determine the things you do. If you have built a broken identity on broken beliefs such as, “I’m not enough…I’m unworthy…I’m too damaged…I’m a mistake” its time for some tearing down so that you can be rebuilt by the truth of how God sees you!

Every single issue we have in life comes down to our Identity! When we know who we are in Christ every emotion, every situation gets a dose of God’s perspective.

I am always encouraged by the story of David and Goliath. David knew who he was in Christ. This gave him the confidence to face Goliath, a decorated warrior giant. Everyone else saw David as a scrawny, shepherd boy, but David knew how God saw him. God had just told him he would be KING!

You see God is a seed planter. He planted a seed in David’s heart that was meant to take time to grow, developed, and provide direction for his life. There was no evidence of kingly stature in young David when he was told of his destiny. We know this to be true because when the prophet came to David’s house to pick the next king his father didn’t even call him out of the field. He was certain it wouldn’t be David.

David’s father was mistaken, God had other plans. Armed with a promise from the Lord, David faced the giant that had taunted and terrified an entire army of Israelite warriors for 40 days! David clung to the word God had spoken over his life and he was confident in who God said that he was! The Israelite warriors were believing the enemies lies! Are you like the Israelite warriors or like David? Are you taunted by GIANTS and held back in your life or do you know who God says that you are?

When we know who we are in Christ we act differently, we are confident in Who GOD is for our every need and our life is not dependent on what we can accomplish but on what He can do through us! We are unstoppable, limitless, and can slay any giant, no matter how big, that taunts us. The God in you, is greater than any giant that comes against you. (1 John 4:4) You just have to realize who God says that you are and cling to this truth – no longer accepting the lies this world has taunted you with.

God wants to plant a seed in your heart that may be hard for you to believe in your current state. It is only hard to believe because right now your view is blocked by the broken and tattered walls you’ve built. He is asking you to let Him in and rebuild your heart so that He can transform you into the image He holds of you.

God does not have a single negative thought about you. 

What has to come down in your life to allow God to rebuild you anew? What walls (ways of seeing yourself or your situation) are keeping you from healing? Is it a wall of self reliance, an addiction, an eating disorder, excessive shame, crippling fear, or negative beliefs you’ve trusted? The God in you wants to meet your every need!

There is a promise in Isaiah 54: 11-12. It says, “Afflicted city, storm-battered, unpitied: I’m about to rebuild you with stones of turquoise, Lay your foundations with sapphires,construct your towers with rubies,Your gates with jewels, and all your walls with precious stones (MSG). 

The hard part is letting him tear down things that are keeping us from the destiny He has for us. It can be a painful process of letting go of what we have always know for unknown and hard to believe treasures that await us. Are you feeling afflicted, storm-battered, and all in pieces?

God promises to rebuild us with the finest materials and spare no expense. Are you willing to open your heart and let God tear down the walls that are keeping you from being all He knows you can be? He brings beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, praise instead of despair, and a double portion of honor for our shame. (Isaiah 61) Everything we give Him, He transforms in ways far beyond our imagination.

Could it be that what is falling down around you is necessary so that God can rebuild you with His finest materials – sparing no expense? You are priceless to Him! He wants to leave no crevice untouched in your heart so that He can give you every blessings He has for you. God is crazy about you, and He can’t wait for you to let Him tear down the walls that are blocking your view of how He sees you!

Let Him rebuild your walls. His materials are the best materials. If you give Him your heart and all your hurts He will spare no expense transforming you into the priceless gem He sees you as!

Be Blessed – Be a Light!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes when we are consumed by heartache, the eyes of our heart can fail us. This life can blur our vision and make us doubt who God is for our every need. My hope for you today is to renew your heart by letting God speak to you about His covenant names.

Why is it so important that we know God’s name? It is the only way we outlast the storms that will inevitable roll in. “Those who know your name trust in you…” (Psalm 9:10 AMP).  His names prove the enemy wrong. God wants us to know who He is and to fully understand His commitment to us!

His 8 covenant names are His unbreakable, non-negotiable promises to us in this life! Let Him speak a new message into your heart today about who He promises to be for you. Let’s walk through Psalms 23 together and peer into God’s heart for us. His covenant names and unshakable promises line every verse.

The Lord is my Shepherd…              GOD’s Name: Jehovah Rohi – The Lord My Shepherd

My promise to you is to be your Shepherd: to guide you, protect you, shelter you, and feed you. I not only want to feed you physically, but I want to feed your heart today, too! Let me lead you down the path of life I have for you. My greatest desire is for you to know me so that I may guide you to the vastness of all I have for you.

I have all I need…                            GOD’s Name: Jehovah Jireh – The Lord My Provider

My promise to you is to be your Provider. My provision will not always come in the ways you expect. Open your eyes expansively to me for I am a Big GOD who can provide for your every need in limitless ways. I will never forsake you. I am always seeking to provide the best for you and I will not settle for less!

He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful waters…

                                                               GOD’s Name: Jehovah Shalom – The Lord of Peace 

My promise to you is to be your peace. My love for you drives out all fear, despair, and hopelessness. My peace is like quiet waters within your soul – no matter the storm that may rage around you. Stop pushing. Stop striving. Rest instead in me. My love for you will never change. You are mine and I’m never letting you go! Peace comes when you accept my love for you fully in your heart.There is peace and assurance in the heart who knows my love for them.

He restores my soul and renews my strength…

      GOD’s Name: Jehovah Rapha – The Lord My Healer

My promise to you is to be your Healer. I long to restore you and mend your brokenness. I weep with you when you are hurt. I want nothing more than for you to run into my arms when your heart is aching. This life throws stones but my Truth takes away the sting. Let my Truth set you free! Let me into your hidden places so that the light of my Truth can soothe your every hurt. Nothing is beyond my repair.

He guides me in paths of righteousness, bringing honor to His name.

                                  GOD’s Name: Jehovah Tsidenu – The Lord My Righteousness

                                  GOD’s Name: Jehovah M’Kaddesh – The Lord My Sanctification

My promise to you is to be your Righteousness and Sanctification- to transform you into my image. Hand over your broken pieces to me so that I can form you into the masterpiece you were always meant to be. Let me be your refiner. I know just what you need. I know what will FREE you to become a LIGHT in this world that shines for me. It may feel at times like I’ve left you for it can be painful as I sweep away the debris from your wounded heart. But PERSEVERE my love, I will rebuild you anew. Trust in me as the designer and perfector of your heart!

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me…

 GOD’s Name: Jehovah Shammah – The God Who is There

My promise to you is to always be There. To be present in every moment of your life. My love, you are never alone. I will walk beside you, holding your hand and leading you through whatever this life brings. It is never my desire for you to feel punished or left to fend for yourself. My heart aches when you shut me out. My arms are always open and ready to receive you.

You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by annointing my head with oil…

GOD’s Name: Jehovah Nissi – The Lord My Banner of Victory

My promise to you is to be your Victory. I long for you to grasp that nothing in this world can defeat you. I have overcome the enemy on every front. Therefore, you are an OVERCOMER! My names are your victory! Declare them over your every need. They are my unbreakable, unshakable, unstoppable commitment to you. There is power in my name. I will go before you. I will fight your every battle. Declare my names in praise – sending forth the victory ahead of you. Nothing can defeat the power of God within you!

Lord, we thank you that our cup overflows with blessings because your name meets our every need. Thank you, Lord, for you goodness and that your unfailing love pursues us all the days of our lives.

                                                                              ~Amen

Walk in Truth. He is your need- meeter. He is for you and committed to you!

~This blog was inspired by, Prayer Portions, written by Sylvia Gunter.

I admit it sometimes I crack when the arrows of rejection pierce my heart.

I reached out to a friend whose distance was growing more and more obvious. No response. My heart hurt with the sting of rejection. I thought to myself, “What did I do to warrant the silent treatment?” My head was spinning with self-doubt and discouragement.

It is just me or have you experienced this too?

After the spinning settled, I got enough wits about me to seek God’s perspective. I heard him say, “A pierced heart has two responses, to use the broken jagged edge to pierce back, or allow my light to shine through the crack created.” Maybe the trials and broken relationships we experience are not just for the building of our character, but so that others will see the Light of God contain within and be change by the light we share!

2 Corinthians 4: 7 says, “We have this light shining in our hearts but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.” and wait…there is a kicker here. The verse goes on to say, “…this makes it CLEAR that our great power is from God, and not from ourselves.” Why do we contain this treasure? So that we realize we may be fragile, but what we contain is not! Wow, it just baffles me that I am this crack little pot, but within me is the very Light that spoke all of creation into being.

What does being this vessel really mean? A vessel’s purpose is first to hold something and then be poured out. I realized in that moment, I could spill out my offense and anger or I could realize that the light within me – chose me! Yes, He chose me to be a vessel that pours out Light and healing.

We can choose freedom from offense and choose what we pour out. I had to ask myself in this moment of rejection, “Do I want to pour out more pain and let the enemy’s plan succeed?”  Or instead would I realize the power within me gives me everything I need to face any wounding moment. Graham Cooke says, “One person plus God has everything necessary to overcome.” Do we believe this deep down in our heart?

We always have the choice to love or hold on to offense.  You see we think offense protects us but it really just imprisons us. I get it an open heart risks being hurt, but I also know that the power within me can heal any crack my heart contains. Now that is security! God is the guardian of our hearts, not offense.

After, I realized my heart was in His hands, I asked the Lord how He sees my distant friend. He showed me a picture of her as a shattered china doll – broken inside and out. I realized then that she hid because she lived in constant fear of being hurt. Her silence, her distance was her protection.

In that moment compassion filled my cracked heart and offense no longer had a place in me. My friends, choose light – choose love because offense is a waste of our time when we see others through they eyes of a loving Father. Our hearts can be a broken place, a fragile place or a place of wholeness and light. A wounded heart -wounds. A wounded heart is an offended heart. Those who realize the power, light, and love contained within them walk in love, hope, and with a sense of security.

What do I mean by security?

When we bring our broken, cracked, and fragile hearts before God, He promises to heal and bind up all our brokenness (Ps. 147:3). Run to Him, let Him love you right where you are, and then seek His perspective. His Light is always just what we need!

Embrace the cracks that allow His Light to Shine brightly through you. Who knows the light you allow to flow through you just might be the light that mends the darkness in those around you!

Be Light – Be a Blessing!

 

 

But this I call to mind, Therefore I have hope. It is because of the Lord’s loving-kindnesses that we are not consumed, Because His [tender] compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness.“The Lord is my portion and my inheritance,” says my soul; “Therefore I have hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.” Lamentations 3:21-24 (AMP)

The following is an excerpt from my book, Shining Freely (not yet published).

On the coast of California near Fort Bragg sits a rare beauty known as, Glass Beach. The tens of thousands of tourist that flock to this beach each year must find it hard to believe it was once called “The Dumps”. How does something transform from a dumping ground for everyone’s trash and toss aside broken things to a sparkling marvel of beauty? My guess is some things must come crashing down in order to create the opportunity for a new view.

Over the years the pounding of the waves refined the broken glass and pottery into jewelry like quality. With each crash of the waves more and more transformation began to show. It took years for the broken debris to become what it is today, but the process of breaking down the jagged exterior and being sand by the rough ocean bottom is what led to it becoming the treasure tourist now drive hours to see.

Your start in life may have felt much like this dumping ground. Where your early relationships poured into you an image of yourself that made you feel worthless and useless and then you formed a sharp exterior to keep others at a distance. But when we allow God into our messiest places that are jagged and broken He can smooth our edges and turn us into something we were intended to be all along! We must first, however, submit to the process. The process of allowing the negative perceptions of ourselves to come crashing down and the sanding off of our protective barriers. Is it uncomfortable and vulnerable, YES, but without it we remain a dumping ground consumed by others hurtful words and our unhealed hurts stinking up our chances of breathing in the truth of who we really are.

Maybe you’re asking where do I even begin? You begin back at the beginning. You ask the one who created you and knows you by your true name how He sees you. Those broken bottles and pottery pieces discarded along the shores of Glass Beach where originally formed and created with a purpose. Others disregarded that purpose and even shattered the structure so much so that their original identity was un-recognizable. What you came to believe about yourself because of your pain and experiences has shattered your heart and the ability to recognize the original purpose God designed you for. We have to go back to the one who designed us in the first place and understand how He sees us. Then as He transforms piece by piece, we can start to see ourselves differently and walk out our true identity!

God wants us to understand how He sees us because then we will finally realize the impossibility of all the other names we have allowed to settle into our heart. God calls you:  Loved, Redeemed, Desired, Chosen, Accepted, Free, Blameless, Clean, Pure, Forgiven, Equipped, Marvelously made, Cherished, Treasured, A Masterpiece, Designed with a Purpose, and in all things more than a Conqueror. Start now by confronting the destructive view of yourself that has piled up within your heart and realize that the names you’ve accepted from those who hurt you have penetrated so deep that you falsely accepted them as your identity.

Allow His transforming power to re-name and re-claim what your pain has stolen. This new view of yourself will feel foreign and untrue at first, but speak it over and over until it takes root. Be relentless in pursuit of the realization of who you are in Christ. Ask God to reveal to you the damaging messages you have believed and accepted and then ask Him to speak truth into your heart. You have a decision to make that can change the entire course of your life. Will you choose words that lead you to your destiny or far from it? Only you have the power to allow a new name to be written on the tablet of your heart.

It is my prayer that the “eyes of your heart [will be] flooded with light, so that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you”…Ephesians 1:18. I pray your heart is opened today to allow the planting of God’s truth to take root in you. I pray you will find the strength to toss out the names, labels, and lies that have shattered your view of all you can be. May God “…grant you a spirit of wisdom and revelation [of insight into mysteries and secrets] in the [deep and intimate] knowledge of Him” so that your mind will continually throw out the trash and hold tight to the treasure of who He made you to be (Ephesians 1:17). May you go forth from here refusing to blindly accept any and all false names thrown your way by others or your experiences, and instead weigh every word spoken over you against the truth of God’s Word and how He sees you.

If there were a sign that read, “WARNING: High levels of AVOIDANCE can be damaging to your heart,” I would post it every where I go. The truth is we want healing, but don’t want the process.

I have been amazed by those nature shows that go deep to the ocean’s floor and reveal creatures I never knew existed. Without those brave souls who were willing to first bring light to this uncharted territory we would still be walking around up here on Earth never realizing what was below.

Healing is gonna require you to exchange your snorkeling gear for the real deal scuba diving equipment. What in the world do I mean by that? We can’t stay on the surface and see the depths of the pain our heart holds. It will take being willing to dive deep and bring light to the fearful things that are lurking far below.

I know fear is gripping when we think about facing the past we most want to forget, but today I want to help you see that only LIGHT can point the way out!

My hope is that today you let a little light in to the areas in your heart you have kept deep below the surface. Let’s begin this dive together – and hold on to the truth that no amount of deep sea darkness can overcome the light that is within us!

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can NEVER extinguish it.” (John 1:5 NLT, emphasis mine)

Healing starts with AWARENESS! We cannot heal what we are not willing to see. God’s Word says, “…it is light that brings about a rich harvest of every kind of goodness, righteousness, and truth” (Ephesians 5:9, GNT) So, Lord, give us the courage to dive deep and bring light to the crevasses in our hearts we have been to afraid to explore. Help us to open our eyes to all the ways we are blocking the light of Your truth from entering our hearts and healing our brokenness.

Are you ready to dive a little deeper and take a peek at where healing begins? Just what do we need to become aware of? Below are 6 questions to begin the journey. These questions stem from the main ways we block healing in our lives.

1. Avoidance: What parts of my past do I most want to keep below the surface?
2. Negative Thoughts: What have I come to believe about myself because of the painful things that have happened to me? (I am not enough, I am unloveable, I am damaged, My voice doesn’t matter, God doesn’t care about me…)
3. Faulty Strategies: What promises have I made to myself because of my pain and how do I try and keep this pain at bay?(E.g. “I will never trust anyone ever again.” Therefore, I isolate myself and make sure the relationships I do have never go deep enough to get to know the real me.)
4. Hopelessness: Have I lost all hope and Trust in WHO GOD IS and His ability or willingness to heal my pain?
5. Accepting a False Identity: Have I let my past define me instead of who God says that I am?
6. Holding on to unforgiveness & Shame: Do I have unforgiveness in my heart toward myself, others, or even God?

It is in God’s presence, in His Light, that we are set free. We need to bring our answers before Him and re-evaluate them in the light of God’s Word? Ask yourself do my answers line up with His truth or do they oppose it?

Re-discover WHO GOD IS for your every need and Who He says that you are in His Word. Uncovering his TRUTH for the lies you have come to believe is the next step to healing!

I often remind myself of who God is when doubt creeps in and life gets overwhelming – He is my savior, my healer, my redeemer, my forgiver, my Good Shepherd and guide, my protector, my refuge, my hope, my peace in the storm, my advocate, my burden-bearer, my defender, my friend, my hiding place, and the keeper of my heart, my all in all, and the answer to all that concerns me!

And when I begin to question who I am, I run to the Word and find: I am accepted, adopted, anointed, appointed, beautiful, blameless, called, chosen, desired, empowered, equipped, free, favored, forgiven, loved, a masterpiece, pure, protected, refined, renewed, redeemed, saved, transformed, valued, victorious, child of GOD!

Start today by declaring who God is for you and Who you are in Him! Write it out and post it EVERYWHERE! It will feel false at first, because you have spent a lot of time speaking the opposite.

But most of all, I urge you to stop living a surface life. Dive deep into the places you have been too afraid to explore and allow the light of God’s truth to give you a new perspective and show you a depth of yourself you may never knew existed!

Be You…Be Blessed

Light is required for growth and healing. The problem is we have become very good at hiding and keeping light far away from places within we want no one to see.

One thing I have realized over the last 12 years as a Counselor and trauma specialist is how unaware we can be of the affects of our early life experiences and wounded moments. We see through the lens of our past hurts and are directed by the beliefs that were formed because of them. The great concern for me and why I have become an advocate for shedding light on things that are holding us back, is because destinies are at stake. Our unhealed wounds cloud our vision of who God made us to be.

In today’s post I hope to shed light on the ways we block the possibility of healing our inner hurts. I will describe 4 of the most common patterns I have seen over the years.

1. Avoidance and Denial

It makes sense that we would want to avoid painful things.The urge to pull away is instinctual. However, we cannot heal what we do not acknowledge. We have succumb to a “put on your big girl pants” and just get over it culture. We deny our experience, we minimize its impact and try to convince ourselves that it no longer affects us. All the while our wounds are running more than we know.

Our brain is an extremely complex machine that has an innate ability to protect us. Sometimes that means locking away memories that our hearts cannot bear to accept. The problem is that avoidance may keep the details of your experience out of your awareness but it cannot keep the affects of those memories from pushing through the cracks.

There seems to be a strong draw to the belief that if I don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen or it will just go away. Avoidance is sneaky because it works temporarily to relieve symptoms, but in the long run it only perpetuates the pain and makes healing impossible.

The enemy’s great deception is to keep believers in the dark about wounds that are controlling them because then he can keep us far from our destinies!

Unhealed wounds are the cause for many of the behaviors we don’t like about ourselves. Paul explains this common dilemma in Romans 7:15 (MSG) What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.

We’ve all had moments where we think why did I just do that? It is in those moments we have to look for deeper roots. When we consistently see patterns of responding that keep steering us away from who we want to be there may just be a painful memory pulling our string.

2. Dis-connection and Self-reliance

We can end up feel completely alone, and unable to trust when we go through something overwhelming. Trauma at its very core involves DIS-CONNECTION! Our painful moments close us off from the world. We end up abandoning ourselves because our emotions become too much to handle and then we shut everyone out! We can feel like we no longer belong, no one gets it, and if anyone knew they would surely reject us.

Our heart begins to close because we don’t want to be hurt again. So we hide – keeping our secrets locked away.

The thing we fail to understand is that shame thrives in the secret places. We need to open our heart and hurt before God and those that have proven their trustworthiness so that they can provide the light of truth that contradicts what we came to believe in our darkest moments. This breaks the chains of secrecy and shame. Light provides GRACE, darkness fuels SHAME.

3. Fear  

When life is unpredictable and painful we enlist any means necessary to control the uncontrollable and we end up letting fear run our decisions instead of God. Fear drives us to expect the worst, waiting for the next ball to drop, and lose all hope. We over-analyzing, ruminate, catastrophize, procrastinate, and find we are indecisiveness, defensive, and full of doubt. We fear failure, success, rejection, connection. We fear we will never belonging, but also fear being seen. We stay trapped in the confines of our own protective barriers yet fail to realize we’ve made ourselves a prisoner. We rely on what we can see and what our past has shown and never allow faith the opportunity to work.

John Bevere in his book, Breaking Intimidation, puts it this way:

“An intimidated person honors what he fears more than he honors God. What would happen if all believers functioned in their place? What tremendous things we could see… It is this Joint operation of these gifts the enemy wants to stop. When successful he can severely hinder our growth. He knows he cannot stop God from giving these gifts, so he is after our freedom to exercise these gifts.”

Satan uses the pain we have experience to create a fear so intimidating that our gifts lie dormant, we stay confined within our box, and never realize the potential God has placed within us.

4. Self- Criticism

Our wounded moments created an opportunity for seeds of negative self-perceptions to be planted deeply into our soul. These beliefs entangle, separate, and block the entrance of anything good that could be nourishing or healing. Our painful moments create negative self-beliefs that fight hard to be heard and don’t like to be contradicted.

We project how we feel about ourselves outward and believe God and others must feel that way too. If you were to pause for a moment and say to yourself God delights in me. Are you able to feel it?…or do you sense a level of resistance that’s hard to explain.

Zephaniah 3:17(AMP) states, “The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing.”

We serve a God who delights in us who rejoices over us with singing when we are in his presence. Yet our wounded moment say others-wise. In an effort to protect ourselves from ever messing up again and getting hurt we develop a relentless inner critic whose words are harsh and unforgiving. This drives our hearts farther and farther from the truth in God’s Word.

The bible makes in clear in Proverbs 18: 21 “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.”

What I want you to hear today is words are not just words they are DIRECTIONAL MARKERS!

The messages we believe become the selves we see and determine the things we do. I believe we have the ability to choose our thoughts and redirect our life path, but we must first heal the wounds inside that are producing the beliefs that are destroying us.

If you have come to believe you are “unworthy, unforgiveable, hopeless, useless, damaged, or unloveable” where are the roots of these beliefs? We have to heal these places inside of us or else we will never accept the truth of how God sees us and the purposes He has for our life!

Take an honest look and see how you may be blocking God’s light from healing your most hurting places within. Look for patterns and reactions you find puzzling. There just may be a wounded moment running the show behind the scenes. These patterns when left unchecked, keep us from finding the freedom God intends for us to have.

Thanks for taking time to slow down from you busy schedule and soak in truth for your journey. Stay tuned for the next post regarding ways we can allow healing to manifest in our lives.

Be Blessed!

~Josie

 

 

2 Corinthians 6:11-13 MSG, “Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!

Ladies, YOU were created to live your lives in BIG ways – openly & expansively! What causes us to live our lives in small ways? I believe it is all in where we are rooted.

God’s love notes are everywhere. The key to receiving them is being willing to pause and listen – letting our gaze look upon what may seem insignificant so that God can whisper a message of significance into our soul.

One afternoon I was walking along my old country road, and my eyes were drawn to a little apple orchard. I had walked by this orchard countless times, but this day was different. There was a nudging that wouldn’t go away. So I slowed down to listen. My eyes began to scan the little orchard. I saw some trees with abundant fruit while others were rather small, and a few were toppled over – cut off completely from the roots. As I listened a flow of thoughts began to come. “Life is like an apple orchard” was the first of many. How so? I was now curious and my ears fully perked. The thoughts were flowing faster than my little fingers could type. “What size, quality, and quantity of fruit the tree produces depends on where the tree is rooted. It has never been about the tree but always about what the tree is rooted in.”

If we are rooted in fear or in the lies and pain of our past, believing we are “not enough”, “damaged”, or “worthless” then our trees will bare the fruit of these beliefs. The fruit will look something like depression, anxiety, self-loathing, broken relationships, shame, alcoholism, anorexia. On and on this list may go.

If, however, we are rooted in God’s Word and how He see us, the fruit we produce looks more like purpose, love, joy, peace, kindness, mercy, self-forgiveness, acceptance, hope. We are unhindered by our past and free to SHINE our light for CHRIST when we realize our identity is in how He sees us!

We must refuse to let our past define us. What needs healed in your heart so that you can begin to open up to God’s truth for your life? If you read over the lines that follow and you find it hard to receive them as words that describe you, I would suggest spending some time in prayer and ask the Lord, “What is in my heart that rejects what you say about me?”

God looks at you and says, “You are mine, You are chosen, You are a masterpiece, You are treasured, valued, an heir to all I own. You are accepted, called, and equipped. You are clean, pure, forgiven and worthy. You are beautiful and I delight in YOU!”

God is the healer, the name-changer, the promise- keeper, and the dream-igniter. No matter how damaged your tree has become or how your roots first sprouted; no matter the storms you have experienced – even if you feel completely blown over, you can find purpose again. BUT, we have to be willing to uproot the old, endure the pain of change, and face our deepest fears. The old lies have to be replaced with the only Truth that can set us free – God’s WORD. The Bible says to take all thoughts captive that don’t line up with His truth. WHY? Because when we don’t we wither, we lose hope, and we produce more and more of the enemy’s plan for our lives.
It never has been about us, but always about WHO we are rooted in! God takes our dead things and makes them new. He peers right through the layers of pain that have withered our lives and sees us for the tree He knows we can be. He pursues us gently with His grace and acceptance.

It does not matter how damaged you feel -the day you plug your roots into His truth is the day you will find new life spring from your branches again. You were designed with a specific purpose that only your tree can produce.

May today be the day you find your roots in Him; realizing no matter what your tree looks like, you serve a God who specializes in making the impossible…POSSIBLE!
Be blessed and seek to be a blessing!

Josie

If I had it all to do over again, I’d open my eyes to see the blessing in each ticking second. I would roll with more punches. I’d let thankfulness be my default instead of complaining. Spreading more grace than judgement and practice understanding instead spinning my wheels to prove I’m right. I wouldn’t take life so seriously and I would refuse to make mountains out of mole hills. I’d soak in God’s approval and not long for man’s. I’d love deeper even if I got nothing in return. I’d focus on the good of others instead of their faults. I’d cherish more the things that cannot be bought. Be less concerned about the things I obtain than the hearts I can change. I’d embrace differences instead of fight against them. Trust in God’s love for me and His promises – believing no matter what He always knows what’s best for me. I’d pray more and fret less. I’d practice self-forgiveness, throw out perfectionism and accept myself and others for who they are. I’d encourage others to be more than they thought they could be. I would control my thoughts instead of letting them control me. I would smell more flowers and be mesmerized by more sunsets nights. I’d relax, let go, and be present more – enjoying the gift of today’s best instead of focusing on where I must go next. I would rest more, laugh freely, and be angry less. I’d stop trying to read others minds and just ask. I’d say I’m sorry quicker, speak the truth in love instead of sulking, and listen more intently. I would let go of wishing for what I don’t have and hold tight to what I do. I’d give more and take less. I’d play more and spend more time with those that matter instead of seeking another accolade or check mark on my list. Hurry and worry would be erased from my vocabulary. I’d stop trying to change what cannot be changed and let God lead the way. I’d accept where I am and trust in where God is taking me and focus my steps on the smiles I could bring instead of the titles behind my name. I’d stop wishing for change and be the change. I’d never let fear win another battle. I’d step out onto the water instead of staying in the boat. I’d refuse to waste another minute not seeing that now is the time to put in place all the things I’d change.

This blog, Pray Heal Shine, is here for you to see that healing and change are possible. Healing starts with awareness! Allow God to bring awareness to all the things that are covering your ability to see your true identity and open your heart to His truth that sets us free. SHINE’s vision is to see women all over the world embrace who they are in Christ because when we know who we are, our light naturally shines in exactly the way God intended us to do so! Don’t let regrets from your past keep you from the change you want to see in your future. You were meant to SHINE and now is your time!

Visit us at www.shinehealing.org to learn more!