But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green and they never stop producing fruit (Jeremiah 17: 7-8, NLT).

Fear is driven by thirst and I realized I was thirsty.

When I began the journey of writing Shining Freely three years ago, I was a completely different gal. Writing this book and encountering God through it has transformed my life. I loved Jesus, but I was still thirsty. Thirsty for accomplishments, titles, and a platform to prove my spiritual worth. I needed you to like me. To approve of me to feel okay. The beautiful thing about God is, when we truly ask Him to search our hearts – He does. He searches for and shines a spotlight on the places in us that will make us fall flat on our face in heartache if we continue to try and do life and ministry our own way. He knew that if I kept seeking your approval, I would always be thirsty. The “Am I enough” void continually threatened the growth He wanted to give me. So, He took me on a 40-day journey that changed my life forever.

I share this because I know many of you reading this feel the same. We are hard-wired to connect, to belong, and to be liked. It is a matter of survival. What I realized, though, as I ceased from my work (work that I thought all depended on me) for 40 days to be led by God, is that nothing can fill you more than an encounter with His heart.

I was listening to one of my favorite pastors, Steven Furtick, talk about “The Thirsty Trap” and it shined a spotlight on this approval seeking tendency in me. He said, “Everyone is thirsty. It is not a sin to be thirsty. It is where you go to get fixed that determines whether your soul will be satisfied.” The truth is, “Everybody drinks from somewhere”.

Did I mention I am a “do-er”?

Being a “do-er” sure made this 40-day rest a test that was really hard for me to pass. I resisted it the first time, sure I had heard God wrong, and I ended up in the hospital because of stress. I am just a tad stubborn. So, the second time He impressed it on my heart I listened. Anyway, it was during this season of rest that I realized how much I got my fix from doing. Being busy felt important. I had a real awareness moment that this thirst was destructive to the very calling I wanted to fulfill. My fix couldn’t come from titles  – even though it sounded really good in my head to be a Co-founder and Clinical Director. It couldn’t come from  accomplishments, the number of followers on my blog, or likes on Facebook either.  All those things can change in a moment and leave me thirsty for more.

Jesus told the Samaritan woman at the well, “those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a bubbling spring within them” (John 4:14, NLT). Jesus knew this woman was dying of thirst inside. Not the kind any man could fix. He was a Jew and wasn’t even supposed to be talking to this Samaritan woman, let alone be sharing a drink with her. It didn’t matter to Him that she had 5 failed marriages.

What matter to Him, was that her heart was empty and He knew how to fill it.

What mattered to Him was freeing her from the shame that brought her to the well in the hottest part of the day, because she didn’t dare show her face in public. He didn’t need the water He asked her for, He wanted to FILL HER. He went there on purpose with the intention of giving her Living Water. The kind of water that would cleanse her soul and forever fill the empty places inside her. He knew no other source could provide what she was seeking.

Where are you drinking from?

Are you dying for people’s approval? Are you caught up in the rat race of gaining accomplishments or things to finally answer the “Am I enough” question looming in your mind? Are you striving and pushing yourself to produce something on your own because in the end you fear God won’t provide as He promised? What things do you feel you need in order to be enough? Is it a relationship, a bigger house, a degree, and letters behind your name? Or do you fill your empty heart with alcohol, sex, shopping, food, caregiving, or a number on a scale? We are all thirsty in need of filling.

All fear is rooted in self-preservation. Will I be liked? Will I be enough? Will I have enough? The woman at the well was so focus on meeting her need in the moment that she almost missed what was right in front of her, waiting to fill her completely and fully. But God wasn’t going to let her leave that day empty. See that’s what He does, He never leaves us where He finds us! Her encountered with the Living Water that day changed her forever. She left the well a completely different gal. Free, head held high, and a heart filled to the brim and spilling over. She became a woman with purpose. A woman on a mission to spread the gift she received with everyone who would listen. All because of an encounter with Jesus. Never underestimate the power of an encounter (time in His presence) to heal you, restore you, to set your heart free, and point your feet in an entirely new direction.

I am now that woman on a mission. I have been changed by an encounter with Him. You see I was thirsty and He sought me out. He filled me in a way no amount of likes, titles, or accomplishments ever could. God, His love, His acceptance, His approval, His living, breathing water is the greatest gift and I want to share it with you. There is only one Source that never leaves us empty. A Living Water that never fails us.  We all long to be accepted, approved of, and loved. His presence is where we find it.

When I finally got it, nothing else mattered. God delights in me. God delights in YOU! He wants your heart, not so He can condemn you and point out all that is wrong, but so that He can fill you and show you all that is right about you!

Uncertainty drives our fears. Luckily for us, there is a Source of certainty that is always flowing waiting for hearts willing to be filled. Our thirst is quenched by God alone. In time spent with Him – time in the filling. You come, He fills, enough for each day, just like the manna. Learning how to cease from ourselves to take time to be still in His presence, is the key to a thirst filled life. It’s time! Time to lay down your self-protective strategies at His feet and let Him guide the way. He is the most gentle, loving guide you will ever have the pleasure of encountering!

Be Blessed ~ Be a Light!

*This is an excerpt from my book Shining Freely coming the end of 2017!

Psalms 25:5- Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for you are the God of my salvation; on you do I wait all the day.

It is a pleasure to welcome, Amanda McGhee,  to the prayhealshine blog as our guest writer today! Amanda is a part of our SHINE leadership team and I am so thankful for her willingness to share her heart and a piece of her journey with all of you!

“Out of Order”. What do you think of when you hear that? Not the kind that makes your bladder scared when you’ve rushed to the bathroom only to find there’s an “Out of Order” sign on the door.  The kind of “Out of Order” that you feel when nothing in your life seems to have a set rhythm or seems to be making sense.  When you’re literally (and figuratively) out.of.order.

I’m in this season of my life where I know God is dealing with me to get myself in order. My house wasn’t the only thing God was showing me needed order, my literal and spiritual body needed order too. I felt a sweet tug at my heartstrings a couple months ago when He spoke gently to my soul about the chaos of our house being a soft mirror which reflected my relationship with Him; my frustration with a multitude of things in life were because I (emphasis on IIIIII) was, out of order. Even though I had everything I needed, nothing was in place. I had no chronic health issues but my motivation for being healthier was nowhere to be found.  It’s not surprising to know that my spiritual life wasn’t in order either; I have all the tools and resources I need to continue to grow deeper in my walk with the Lord, but no motivation to actually utilize them. I guess I was praying for order by osmosis or something. 

It doesn’t work that way. 

Several weeks ago, I was fed up with the chaos of our home. There’s been little discipline in maintaining an orderly house. When I knew we would be having guests, I would stressssss OUT. Now, there is no shame in my unexpected-visitor game!  It was a 2 day, 12 hours a day job but every room in our home has been purged, and organized.  Amazingly, it’s remained tidy ever since. But I was beginning to realized my home wasn’t the only thing out of order, there were things living inside me that needed addressed too.

It was a hard piece of revelation to sit with the day I realized that there are a plethora of reasons I’ve continually battled a weight issue. What I’ve learned in the past couple years, as I’ve allow God into the moments that have left me wounded, is that the emotional and physical traumas I endured for so long have played a far greater role than I’ve acknowledged. For ten years, I was told: I’d never be loved because of my weight and the way I looked, that nobody “fat” is ever successful. It wasn’t until recently that I realized I maintained my weight to prove this voice from my past wrong. 

But now, I am in the process of learning to look at my reflection and see who God sees, not who she said I was! For me this transformation takes place when I spend time in His Word.

There’s always been a gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit in my heart to spend more time in the Word, in prayer, in devotion…in any way that would lead me to more time with the Lord. Many times in my life, I would push it off because other activities would take priority. Something would happen that would grip my heart in panic and where is the first place I would go? To prayer. My daily praise was lacking. But lemme tell you something—if I get worried or scared, I’m on my face before the Lord.

I’m such a user.

That’s ugly. A user. As in, one who comes looking for a miracle when I haven’t been consistent in praising Him. Thankfully, His view of me is far more full of mercy and grace than my perception of Him.

What I’ve shared with you is a sliver of what the Lord revealed to me.  When I’m quick to notice where things are chaotic and lacking order, I get all bent out of shape. If I’m continually aggravated by something or someone, it’s usually a sign there’s something in my heart that needs healed (this revelation is not mine—it’s the byproduct of over twenty-five year relationship with a friend who became a clinical counselor). My attitude about a lack of order in a place where I think there should be was God’s way of pricking open my own heart to show me the areas of my life that are out.of.order or lacking discipline.

Ewwww….nobody likes to talk about discipline.

But what are we without discipline? I’m not talking about whoopins and spankins (whole other counseling session, whole other blog post, lol).  Did you know that discipline comes from discipulus, the Latin word for “pupil” (a student), which also provided the source of the word “disciple”? What are we if we’re not learning how to be a better version of who we were yesterday?

Every day we have to choose to take a step (or many steps) to be better. I’m in the muck of learning how to be consistent and purposeful in every action of my life, especially prayer, health, and keeping my home in order.  I have no doubt that when I begin my days spending time with the Lord, all the other learning (or discipline, whichever you’d like to say) will be easier because it’s through His power, not mine, that I get anything accomplished.

A big thanks today to Amanda for sharing her story and healing process with us! My hope is you will use her openness as the nudge you need to take a look at what may be out of order in your own heart.  Ask the Lord what needs His order and His view in your life. Only God’s view can provide the order we are seeking when everything around us feels like chaos!

Be Blessed ~ Be a Light

BE A WARRIOR NOT A WORRIER

I am a natural – Worrier that is! But I am learning to become a Warrior. Some days are easier than others. Did you know you and I are always in a battle? Maybe not physically – but in our minds. The battle of what to believe is always raging.  Mix Martial Arts World Champion, Michael Chandler, said, “90% of success is between the ears.” He has learned that the first battle he has to fight before he ever steps into the ring with someone else, is the battle within himself. He said, “Every time I go into battle I focus on talking to myself. If I sit and listen to myself I’m going to hear negativity, doubt, and fear. But if I choose what gets dwelt on, I’m in the drivers seat.”

Many of us have been listening for way to looooong. The lies from our past feel like truth so much so that the promises that lay before us in God’s Word are what seem false and unobtainable. It is time to start talking to ourselves. We must choose to dwell on the one and only Truth that will lead to victory in this battle – GOD’S WORD! The enemy is the great deceiver – good at twisting our minds into knots and slipping in fear after fear. One of my go to verses when I need a reset in my mind is:

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

When I bumped into this phrase “Be a warrior not a worrier” on Pinterest, it got me thinking. What would this look like in my own life?  Just what does a Warrior do differently than a Worrier? Here are some of my conclusions:

1. A Warrior knows She has God’s approval. A Worrier is always trying to earn it.
2. A Warrior recognizes the necessity of her role in fulfilling the commanders’ orders. A Worrier doubts she has what it takes.
3. A Warrior allows the battle to chisel her and refine her. A Worrier lets it define her.
4. A Warrior trust in God’s goodness. A Worriers doubts He will come to the rescue.
5. A Warrior uses REST strategically – refueling in God’s Presence frequently. A Worrier uses REST as a last resort only when exhaustion hits.
6. A Warrior knows how to accept orders as is.  A worrier is always trying to water them down to fit her ability.
7. A Warrior accepts discomfort for the sake of the mission. A Worrier is always looking for a way out.
8. A Warriors lives for an audience of ONE.  A Worrier lives to please EVERY-one.
9. A Warrior faces the giants before her and refuses to listen to their taunting voices.  A Worrier retreats at the slightest noise.
10. A Warrior sees the vision in terms of what “GOD” can do.  A Worrier sees the vision in terms of what “SHE” can do.

These are the frequent battles my inner warrior has to fight.  I would love to hear from you about how your inner Warrior wins out above the noise of Your Worrier! We all have a battle to fight. My prayer for you is your inner Warrior will overtake  your Worrier and you will see clearly just how necessary you are for the advancement of God’s Kingdom.

Be blessed ~ Be a Light!

Graham Cooke’s book “The Way of a warrior” was my inspiration for this post. He has such a way with words click here to find our more.

Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links. However, this doesn’t affect what I write about, what I choose to say, or what I recommend.

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 (NLT)

Sometimes the dreams we have come to what seem like an abrupt end, when in reality God is trying to point us in a whole new direction. This post is a little more personal in nature. It is an experience I wish wasn’t mine to tell, yet, one in which I cannot expect to escape me this side of heaven.

It only took me 4 years to admit I was angry at God. I wasn’t mad that he took my dad suddenly and without warning, but I realized I was mad at him for taking my dream. I was and always have been a “daddy’s girl”. He really got me. I was like him in many ways. Some things like his fiery red temper I would rather not have gotten, but he instilled in me a love, a craving for God’s Word that can never be taken from me. He was a man of prayer and there was something about his prayers that had a way of calming the storm within me. I will never forget his hands when he would lay them gently on my head and pray over me.  A peace would well up within me and I just knew everything was going to be ok.

My dad was a veterinarian, a horse doctor. This is where my sister and I got our love of horses. His passion became ours and ultimately turned into the birth of a dream. It only seemed natural after I got my degree in mental health counseling, that my family would start a Ranch for the hurting using horses.

Some of my fondest memories are of me getting to tag along with my dad in his work truck going from farm to farm. As a young child I thought magic came from his hands. He had a way with horses and it seemed as if there wasn’t any aliment he couldn’t cure. Why, when I needed him most was his life cut short? It is crazy to think that one moment in time can changed every laid out plan I had created.

He was suppose to retire soon and he told me that all he wanted to do was work on the Ranch with my sister and I. Then in a instant everything changed. I was at church and my phone rang. I just knew in my heart something was wrong. On the other line I heard the frantic voice of my mother’s best friend telling me to get to the hospital quick.

And just like that, he was gone.

The story of what transpired began to unfold. My dad had just finished leading worship at his church. He walked off stage, sat down by my mother, and no response. His sudden death left me rattled & confused. I remember thinking, “How I am going to go on without him?” Everything in me wanted to run from the ministry my family began – nothing made sense anymore.

He was the first on my list to call that morning. We had just received the news that our suburban home had finally sold (it only took 3 years) and we could now be on the look out for River of Hope’s new home. He was supposed to help us find the perfect fit – the perfect horse farm. But I never got to make that call.

It has been almost 5 years now and it was just the other day that I had a true epiphany. Crazy how long we can be blind to things we are holding onto and don’t even know it. I was reading an article about why we use horses and this paragraph grabbed hold of my heart. It said,  “If it is in your blood to love horses, you share your life with them. Our horses know our secrets; we braid our tears into their manes and whisper our hopes into their ears. A barn is a sanctuary in an unsettled world, a sheltered place where life’s true priorities are clear… Some of us need these reminders.” ~ Author unknown

I burst into tears as I realized I’d been running from the Ranch ever since my dad died. I simply didn’t want to do it without him.The barn was no longer my sanctuary and what used to feel like a sheltered place now was an ever present reminder of his absence.  But the truth is I needed a reminder of why I started doing this in the first place.

God asked me to give my dream back to Him – the dream of running this ministry with my dad by my side. It seems crazy really that I was still holding on as if he was ever coming back. Oh, it was gut-wrenching. I couldn’t believe how hard it was to let it go. I felt like I was losing my dad all over again. I had to lay it at His feet and let go of how I thought it was supposed to be so that I could embrace the path God has for me now. Once I let it go, peace flooded in and I began to see that He really was creating a path for me. He hadn’t forgotten or forsaken me. He was just waiting for me to be ready to come along.

He has called me to be a lighthouse pointing the way out of the darkness for others – a voice for the hurting. And whether he has me on a ranch with horses or some other place entirely, I will shine my light for Him! I don’t have all the answers I want yet, but I trust in the ONE lighting the way.

Maybe your dreams haven’t turned out like you thought either. Could it be you are holding onto something God is asking you to let go of so He can place in your hands a new beginning? Search your heart. Ask yourself if you too need to forgive God for things that didn’t work out as you hoped. Trust me, when we give back to Him what was never meant to be ours, He has so much more in store for us than we could ever image. It is hard, believe me – I get it. We may even feel like a part of us has died, but we have to be courageous enough to let go of our dream so that we can see the dream He has had for us all along. He has a path for you and me just waiting to be found.

Be blessed ~ Be a Light

Some of the excerpts from this post are from my new book, Shining Freely, coming in late 2017 and below is my self-therapy 🙂 book I published highlighting some of favorite prayers my father wrote and his nuggets of truth for life! My hope is his prayers will touch your heart as well.

This blog post contains affiliate links. However, this doesn’t affect what I write about, what I choose to say, or what I recommend. 🙂

You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Matthew 5:14 MSG

How would our experience of the world  be different if we could see ourselves as God sees us? With the challenges, trials, and pain this life brings, it is easy to lose sight of God’s promises and  who we are in Christ. Especially, when the pain continues or our wait seems long. I get it. I too have struggled in the wilderness moments of my life and second guessed the promises God has given me. The real issue comes down to this; the image of us that God sees in the mirror is so vastly different than what we have been believing about ourselves, that our hearts struggle to accept it.

Often when we begin to hear God’s vision of us and for us it can make us feel like a fraud inside at first. What do I mean by that? Well, if we look at examples in the Bible, God told Abraham his descendants would be as great as the stars in the sky, not when he was a young man in the prime of his life, but when he was old and had no children of his own. He told Moses he would lead and save a whole nation after he spent 40 years running in the wilderness because he was a murderer. He ask Gideon to lead his people to defeat the Midianites even though he was the smallest and weakest of all the men. Then, of course, there is Joseph. He had a dream that he would be in a high ranking position of authority, but first he became the one bowing down as a slave.

This is exactly why moving out of Rebuilding into the SHINING stage in the healing process is a challenge for many of us. We find ourselves saying, “You want me to do WHAT! How is that gonna happen?” We struggle to wrap our mind around what God can accomplish in and through us and our hearts keep saying, “No way, He can’t be thinking that way about me!” Yet, God see us in light of who we are to become and not through the lens of what our past contains!

God often uses what you see as your greatest weakness as the source from which He will grow your greatest gifts, abilities, and talents. Why would He do that? Because more than anything else He wants a relationship with YOU, and He wants you to depend on Him and experience Him in a whole new way. He longs for you to not just know about Him, but to truly experience Him as your Abba Father, Savior, Forgiver, Provider, Restorer, Healer, Refuge, Peace and so much more.

What is God trying to be for you in your struggle, that you would have never been able to experience without it?  Because in all honesty, if you could accomplish His dream for you on your own, you would. It is human nature to try and do it alone.  We really don’t like to depend on anyone else. That’s our culture.  I find that when I lose sight of the fact that my life’s purpose requires a duet, not a solo, that is when I struggle to believe in my calling the most. God truly is the greatest dance partner around – let Him lead the way.

The 4th Building Block To Healing – Shining

In today’s post we are wrapping up the final way that the construction process is similar to our healing process. In the 4th stage of the construction process after the foundation is set, the builder puts in place the necessary connections that will provide the house with light and water. We all know that in order for light to shine and water to flow, there has to be a connection to the source.

Connection is the key task of the 4th building block to healing. Shining is all about learning to depend on, rely on, and connect with the “Light” inside of us. But for that to happen we need to open our hands and embrace God’s view of us. This is where the exchange happens. We receive and accept God’s view of us and a natural outflow occurs. Jeremiah said, “It’s like a fire in my bones … I can’t hold it in.” It something we can’t hold in. There is a stirring that words can’t grasp that compels us to share our light with others.

Shining occurs when we experience a  mindset shift – where we accept His view as our own and then what flows out of our heart aligns with His vision of us! When we think differently we act differently. With the foundation of God’s truth in our heart, we can begin to envision the Designer’s blueprint for us and it is His blueprint then that overrides our old ways of seeing and being.

When we experience the realization that our identity is not based on what has happened to us but in God’s view of us, we find the freedom and courage to walk out His plan for our lives. Our wobbly first steps towards His promises enable His vision of us to become clearer and appear possible. Every step becomes stronger as we learn to trust in the power source that flows within us (aka the Holy Spirit). His power is what enables us to do “immeasurably more than we could ever think or imagine” (Ephesians  3:20).  Colossians 2:10 says that we are “complete” because of our connection or “union” with Christ. This means we lack nothing. The enemy is always trying to convince us in some form or another we aren’t enough, but the Holy Spirit is shouting right back, “YES YOU ARE!”

Jesus promised when he was leaving this world that He would equip us to do great works through the Holy Spirit that lives in us. “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works” (John 14:12, NLT).  And  “the Spirit that lives in you is greater than the spirit that lives in the world” (1 John 4 :4). My prayer for you is that “God’s Word (will be) so steady in you.” That your connection with Him will enable you to overcome anything the enemy throws at you! (1 John 2:14).

I filled the end of this post with verses because as we build our lives on God’s Word and start to see ourselves through the Truth etched within its pages, we learn to live a life that defies the odds against us. We become limitless because He who lives in us and empowers us is limitless! We are ALL called to be a light in this dark world in some way or another, but we only accomplish this when we are plugged into to the greatest Light ever known (Matthew 5:14). You will find all you need in Him to accomplish whatever He has placed in your heart to do. Overcome your past so that you can set your purpose free!

Overview

So, if we simplify the 4-building block process we have been looking at in the last few posts, it would look something like this:

• We scan the landscape of our heart and discover the obstacles and debris that are limiting our view.
• Then we allow God to break ground in our heart fully uncovering our hurt to receive His Truth.
• We persevere through the fight to relinquish our old limiting mindset by transforming our thinking so that it aligns with the Truth God revealed.
• Then we learn to accept God’s view as our own and connect with and rely on “The Light” within to accomplish what only a duet can!

Task Of The Week

Use the 4 building blocks to evaluate where you are in your healing process. Ask yourself, “Where am I in regards to the area of debris God has brought to my attention?”

1. Am I in the beginning stages of Awareness, trying to discover what limiting mindset, overwhelming emotions, protective strategies, and painful memories are tied to this place in my heart?
2. Am I in the Revealing stage, ready to face and uncover the debris within my heart to receive God’s healing perspective?
3. Am I in the process of Rebuilding, taking the truth God revealed to my heart and renewing my mind in it so that my limiting mindset can be transformed?
4. Am I in the process of Shining,  allowing God’s vision of me to be what I see in the mirror and connecting to Him as the ultimate power source that fuels my light in this area of my life?

It is important that you frequently re-evaluate where you are on your journey – remembering that the process repeats itself. Healing comes in layers as God’s light exposes only what we are ready and willing to deal with at the time.

If God’s Word became the mirror through which you saw yourself, how would the reflection looking back at you be different? Healing comes down to a simple yet complicated task –  learning to see ourselves and our circumstances through God’s eyes.  I believe it is only in the dark moments of our lives that we can learn to SEE the Lion within!

Be Blessed ~ Be a Light!

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2

Have you ever been invited somewhere and questioned whether or not you would truly belong? When my husband and I were asked to attend a fancy political dinner my first thought was, “But I have nothing to wear”. I knew this farm girl didn’t have the right attire to attend such an event. So I went on a search for the perfect dress. I was looking for something classy, definitely slimming, and it had to coordinate with my husband’s navy suit. Finding the dress proved easy, wearing it confidently in a crowd where I felt I didn’t quite fit – a whole other story.

As I walked through the large ballroom doors with flowing fountains and marble fireplaces, my eyes nervously scanned the crowd. Oh, I had the right attire, but my mind was still telling me “You don’t belong”.  Everything in me wanted to run out of that ballroom slip out of my high heel shoes and right back into the comfort of my old muddy muck boots!

We do this all the time with healing. We start to take on a whole new look and then our mind convinces us we don’t belong.

If we look the Truth is easy to find, but confidently wearing the new Truth God reveals to our heart proves to be a much harder task. The process looks something like this: we become aware of the debris in our heart, we’ve open our hurt before God and received a new healing TRUTH, but then doubt and fear creep in and we questioned could this really be true?

God has the perfect dress (Truth) designed just for us ready to put on. The problem is our old pesky mindsets fight hard to be heard. We are sure others will see we are just posers; as our mind screams, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO WEAR THAT FANCY DRESS?

We struggle to believe we are chosen, forgiven, accepted, loved, approved of, worthy, wanted, and invited by the very King of the ball. Then we run like Cinderella back to the comfort of the rags we’ve always known; thinking this isn’t possibly how God sees me.

Rebuilding: Opening Our Mind

In the last three post, we’ve been looking at the construction process to guide our understanding of healing. First, we saw how the builder scans the land and identifies the debris that needs cleared away. Then once the builder removes the barriers, he is ready to pour the new foundation so that the framing can begin. When we scan the landscape of our heart and place our hurt before God, a new view suddenly can be seen. The problem is this new view is so different than what we have always known that we struggle to accept it.

This is the dilemma we all face in the third stage of healing. Rebuilding, is about opening our mind to the Truth God reveals and then constructing a whole new way of seeing ourselves based on His view.

The rebuilding phase of healing we focus on transforming our thinking! God’s perspective of us must now become the foundation we build upon. This building block is one of the most challenging phases because old patterns are ingrained and continue to fight for their place. Our first inclination is to reject anything new and contradictory to the beliefs we have always held. A real tug-of-war will happen within us as we are learning to let go of the old and embrace the new and unfamiliar. Romans 12:2 encourages us to let God transform us by changing the way we think!

Owning our new look takes time. When you discover God’s perspective in this process the challenge will be learning how to own it in your heart and wear it with confidence. We have to learn to clothe ourselves in His Truth. Colossians 3 tells us to “Clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience … and LOVE”.

You can’t clothe yourself in something that you don’t believe exist for you. If you don’t first receive God’s love for you, or His tenderhearted mercy, kindness, gentleness, and patience towards you, then you will never learn to view yourself through His eyes. He loves you. He longs to be kind to you and gentle with your hurts. He is patient when you mess up and He can’t wait for you to allow His mercies to flow freely to you every morning!

The thing is when I walked into that ballroom that night, my dress was perfect. The problem was I was waiting for my heart and mind to see it. When God looks at you, all He sees is how beautifully you fit in. We have to realize that we cannot continue to wear the rags of our old limiting mindsets and expect to accept our new look. When we begin to see ourselves through His eyes, a whole new world we never believed could exist for us comes true. So my prayer for you is that you will learn to walk confidently in who you are in Christ and that His Truth will become known in your heart and owned in your mind.

Task of the week: 

I love the idea of the scripture tattoos because we simply need a constant reminder of how God sees us in order to transform our thinking to HIS. Learning to strengthen God’s perspective requires repetition and LOTS OF IT! We can’t keep old clothing hanging around putting them back on whenever we need comfort and expect to have a new look. You need to clear out your closet and intentionally choose to clothe yourself in how God sees you. 2 Corinthians 10:5 holds the key to freedom in our mind by telling us that anything that doesn’t line up with God’s truth we tear it down and take it captive so that our thoughts become obedient to God’s view! 

Identify what thoughts you need to tear down in your life and throw out of your closet. Anything that doesn’t line up with how God sees you is your cue to discard it! Get up every morning and choose to put on His Truth. Let His truth be a constant reminder of who and whose you are. Post it EVERYWHERE! Be persistent and keep at it until what you see in the mirror is what He sees.

Be Blessed ~ Be a Light

P.S. Click the title below to view a resource I have found to be a helpful guide in the healing process:

A Guide For Listening and  Inner Healing Prayer: Meeting God In The Broken Places

by Rusty Rustenbach

He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness, though he is surrounded by light. I thank and praise you … for you have given me wisdom and strength. Daniel 2:22-23

Imagine the scene. King Nebuchanezzar is furious. All his magicians, sorcerers, and astrologers just told him, “you are asking us to do the impossible -no man can tell you your dream”.  No second chances for these guys. They are instantly thrown into the lions den. Then the Kings goes on a tyrant and decides that he is fed up with all the wise men of the kingdom and says kill them all. Daniel and his friends just happen to be next on the chopping block. The king’s men storm in to tell them of their fate. Yet, Daniel calmly and wisely persuades them to give him more time and promises he will interpret the dream.

Daniel goes back home with his friends and they get on their knees as ask the Lord to reveal the secret of the king’s dream. That very night God gave Daniel a vision of exactly what the king had seen. Daniel woke up rejoicing and praising God for granting his request. God revealed to him what no man could have known and showed him the truth that rescued him from king’s decree.

The beautiful thing about God, is this is what He wants to do for us. In the places where our hearts are covered with layers of pain and hurt, he wants to reveal to us the secret that will free us. But first, we must seek Him and open our heart before Him. Realizing, as Daniel did, that we can’t do this on our own, but need God to reveal to us what only He can.

We discussed last week that healing begins with Awareness. Once the obstacles and debris have been identified, the natural progression is to remove the barriers. In the construction process, the builder prepares for a new foundation by breaking ground. He brings in the the exact equipment needed, and removes any barriers that would hinder the pouring of the new foundation.

God is the bulldozer. He has just the right equipment our heart needs. He is ready and willing to break ground in our heart so that the barriers can be remove and His truth can be poured in.

The Second Building Block To Healing Is Revealing

Revealing requires us to open our heart, allow God to  break ground, and clear away the debris that has settled there. This debris was never meant to stay. When we are hurt we carry the burdens of painful memories, overwhelming emotions, negative beliefs, and patterns of coping that add to our pain. Revealing is about uncovering those layers.

Shame will tell you to hide and keep it tucked away. But the truth is, you must reveal to heal. Revealing means we share what’s in our heart, not avoid it. This is the only way we can begin to see the debris through God’s perspective. Sharing opens the door to hearing the Truth our heart needs and experiencing the acceptance we all long for. Connecting our pain with God’s perspective helps us see ourselves and our world differently and prepares the way for a whole new foundation to be laid.

Obviously, we all have different experiences and varying degrees of debris that have settled in our heart. Some things may be too painful and overwhelming to process on your own,  and will require that you reached out to a professional counselor or pastor. The awareness process naturally leads us to a vulnerable place outside of our walls of denial and avoidance.  In this place of vulnerability, we need the support of others to provide a safety net that guides us and helps us to see the layers of debris in our heart through God’s perspective. Painful, abusive early experiences often need more of the demolition mode type work I mention in the previous post. Limiting mindsets and rigid, unhealthy patterns of coping  planted when we are young, grow deep roots. They can be hard to identify on our own because they have existed for years – even decades. If your awareness process has brought you to this place, I encourage you to reach out and begin your healing journey with a trusted professional that can walk alongside you.

At other times in our lives we are in need of some form of remodeling or re-framing. This is where the revealing process can occur during our quiet time with the Lord or in a conversation or prayer time with a trusted friend. Reflecting and spending time sharing our heart with God and others is an essential, healthy process we all need to maintain. Simply because “life” continues to happen. We get disappointed, hurt, experience rejection, doubt, and fear. It is all a part of life. Without regular heart checks things can pile up and affect our mood, mind, and will.

I recently found myself in a dark place emotionally. I felt depressed which led me to entertain a hopeless mindset and it affect my will to do the things God had been placing on my heart. I have been pushing for two years now to roll out the SHINE program while continuing to write a book, counsel clients, and be a mom and wife. I was worn thin from pushing so hard and had grown weary. I felt doubt creep in my heart – wondering if I had somehow made this whole thing up on my own and God really hadn’t  called me to this.

I knew it was time for some remodeling to take place in my heart.  My thinking wasn’t lining up with God’s Word. So I got alone with the Lord and asked him, “What do you want to say to me Lord about this doubt in my heart?” Then He led me in His Word to Psalm 33:15, “He fashions their hearts individually…” This verse hit right to core of my doubt. This wasn’t my dream. It was His that He fashioned in my heart.  This was the very re-framing my heart needed to change the direction of my mood, mind, and will.

When we take time to pause to seek God’s perspective, he can place the perfect message in front of us that set us free from our limiting view. He used a night vision with Daniel. He spoke to Moses through a burning bush, Joseph through dreams, Gideon an enemy soldier (look it up, amazing story Judges 7: 9-15) and Balaam through a donkey. Yes, I did say donkey. With Saul He was more direct. Saul and his friends heard God’s voice loud and clear (Acts 9:4-7).

As long as our heart is open to hear, God can use any means possible to speak right to our need. He sometimes uses other people, His Word, the lyrics in a songs, or through spontaneous thoughts & images that pop in our mind. God is limitless but we limit Him because it is hard to believe that God would want to pursue us and speak to us. I am always in awe when I think about how God spoke, directed, and connected with people in the Bible and how He does it with my heart still today. He wants to speak to you too and reveal the secrets in His Word that will free you. Will you open your heart to hear?

Task of the Week

If you brought awareness to an emotional pattern, limiting mindset, or way of protecting yourself that is holding you back from healing, evaluate whether this is a demolition process in need of a professional to help you see it through or if this is a remodeling project in your heart that needs a dose of God’s perspective. Then take that first step towards the process you personally need at this time.  All healing requires action.

Remember: The key to the revealing process is to receive God’s perspective in the place of what we came to believe. Discover what lies you been believing that don’t line up with the truth in God’s word and ask God, What do you want me to begin to believe instead? Then the process begins of laying down a new foundation based on the Truth God reveals to your heart.

Next week we will discussed the third building block to healing: REBUILDING – learning how to let go of our old beliefs and embrace the truth God reveals to our heart.  I hope you will continue this journey and join me next week.

Be Blessed ~ Be a Light!

It is LIGHT that brings about a rich harvest of every kind of goodness, righteousness, and truth.

                                                                                                                                      Ephesians 5:9 (GNT)

There is an alarming statistic that only 2 percent of people succeed in achieving their goals and dreams. That got me thinking. What stops 98 percent of people from accomplishing what they were meant to do? Motivational speaker Tony Robbins says, “Every change that happens in your life will come from a decision. A real decision to cut off any possibility except for what you’ve committed to.”

Healing will only come from an intentional decision where you decided your not going to give up on the “You” you want to become until you see it come to pass!

I believe the 98 percent of people who don’t accomplish the purpose God designed specifically for them, are all plagued by a limiting mindset! They have convinced themselves because of circumstances, pain, rejection, perceived failure – whatever it may be, that they aren’t enough! Every woman I have ever counseled has had some form of an I’m not_________________ enough mentality. (pretty enough, worthy enough, smart enough, good enough…) But what they often don’t realize is this mentality was birthed from a painful experience and it has felt true for so long that they stop questioning why. Painful experiences produce limiting beliefs that are connected to our behaviors today.  So my hunch is that 98 percent of people have a sense that they aren’t living the life they want to, but have a hard time pinpointing why.

All healing begins with AWARENESS!

It has amazed me how many times I’ve heard over the years, “I just didn’t realize that was still bothering me” or “I never would have guessed that incident from my past was connected to this.”  It is a common experience. We are avoiders by nature. No one enjoys peering into their pain. The problem is, what we aren’t willing to see, we can’t heal. They say ignorance is bliss. I say ignorance is dangerous. Ignorance just means a lack of knowledge and, luckily for us, knowledge can always be obtained. We just have to seek it. This is why light is necessary for healing. Without light, we remain in the dark.  Light exposes the painful moments we hold in our heart that have produced limiting beliefs and self-protective patterns that are holding us back.

Healing and the Construction Process

As I mentioned in the last post, healing is similar to the construction process in many ways. In essence as long as we remain on earth, we will all be going through some form of construction. Some of us are in demolition mode requiring a completely new foundation. This simply means, traumatic or painful experiences can create deeply entrenched, negative mindsets that we build our whole lives upon. These beliefs are often planted young and make it hard to accept God’s truth in our heart. In order to heal we have to tear down those beliefs and replace them with an entirely new view of ourselves that is based on God’s perception of us.  Others of us are in different phases of remodeling. This is where we are more convinced and accepting of God’s perception of us but are in the process of learning how to walk it out in our everyday life. Understanding where we are and what the process looks like will hopefully encourage you to stay the course and commit to not giving up on yourself until you see the result you are wanting.

At SHINE we believe healing happens in layers and flows in and out of what we call the 4 building blocks to healing: Awareness, Revealing, Rebuilding, and Shining. Each block builds on the next and requires the foundation of the last to accomplish its task. They are not a check off your list and done kind of process. Everyone wants a “just let me get this over with” pass, but the truth is we are all works in progress. Healing requires a committed mind set, and will not follow a straight line. Sorry to burst your bubble, but healing has many ups and downs and doesn’t always look so pretty.

So where do we start?

I love metaphors because our brain learns best when we add pictures to our words. So by comparing healing to the construction process, we get a better idea of what we are working with. The first step in any construction process is site preparation. The builder scans the plot of land, identifying the obstacles, rocks, trees, and debris that have settled on the property and hinder the progress of the project. To begin the healing process we too need to scan the landscape of our heart and be willing to see the debris it holds inside.

Awareness is a key first step because we cannot heal what we are not willing to see. Without being willing to look, we remain unaware of the the obstacles that have piled up within our heart and are holding us back. The debris most often created by our painful experiences is a limiting mindset. These are belief patterns that cause us to limit our actions and paralyze our purpose.  Awareness helps us recognize what needs cleared away so that a whole new view of ourselves becomes possible. Without awareness we are led by the products of our pain and it smudges our view of how the designer envisioned us all along. God makes no mistakes. No matter how far we feel we roamed from His design,  His vision of us and for us never changes.  It is never to late to begin the process!

Task of the Week

What debris has settled in your heart and is blocking you from moving forward in your healing process?  Most people don’t even know how they feel. They don’t recognize the negative limiting beliefs they are constantly repeating in their mind.  This is vital to begin to take a look at because our thoughts direct our actions. Meaning if I say to myself, “Everyone rejects me”, I will isolate myself or push others away so it lesson the possibility of more rejection. The problem with this strategy is all I end up getting is more rejection! Overwhelming emotions, limiting thoughts, and protective patterns are tied together and have a deeper root that needs addressed.

So I encourage you to begin to look again. Find an emotions list online and write out how you feel each day or pick up some crayons and just start drawing how you feel.  Begin to bring awareness to the emotional climate of your life? Then write down the thoughts that are tied to your emotions.  What thoughts are driving you?  Are you constantly self-critical? Do you feel not enough, too damaged, unworthy, all alone, hopeless? What do these thoughts cause you to want to do? What protective strategies have you put in place that are actually only serving to create more pain in your life? Remember, what you bring awareness to you can heal. Awareness gives you the opportunity to make intentional decisions that change your limiting thoughts and patterns!

Stay tuned for our next blog post as we will continue discovering what the healing process looks like with the second building block: REVEALING.

Bonus: Be sure to  sign up and follow our Shine Blog below and we will send you a PDF version of the common limiting beliefs and protective strategies we create that block our healing process!

Be Blessed ~ Be a Light!

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,which God prepared in advance for us to do.

                                                                                Ephesians 2:10(NIV)

If you have ever experienced the frustration of building a new home or a remodeling project, you know that things never go as smoothly as you might have envisioned. Excitement can quickly fade as the tension rises and roadblocks surface.

When my husband and I were looking for designs for our new arena, one stood out above the rest. We had the blueprints drawn up and the design was complete. Implementing the vision we had created on paper was a little more complicated, however. My husband knew how it was supposed to look,  but had never actually built one on his own before.  As the process went along, one thing became glaringly obvious. This was going to take way longer than I had hoped.  You see I am a planner, and my husband is more of an I’ll deal with it when it comes about kinda man.

So in my head, I had this idea about how it all would go and what it should look like and my husband was just going day by day. My biggest fear was not getting it done in time for our big fall event, he feared doing something wrong and not realizing it till it was too late. His fear often put a wrench in the process, delaying progress. Well, at least according to my timeline it did! What I realized in the end was his willingness to submit to the process no matter how slow, is what allowed the picture to become a beautiful reality.

Healing is a lot like the construction process. Some of us have an idea of how it should go and others would rather ignore the plan and hope it just works itself out. However, there is one thing we must realize. Whether we believe it or not, God has already completed our design- it is now our job to implement it. The problem is we struggle to see God’s vision of us and have a hard time knowing how to get His blueprint to become our reality.

Often we don’t even know where to start. Healing seems so far away and it is hard to know what it would look like. We disconnect more and more from our designer as one painful experience after the next builds up. We learned to define ourselves based on what has happened to us instead of how God sees us. We question, “Who would I even be without this pain?” Then all the sudden we find ourselves no where near where we though we’d be.

The more bad weather we experience, the more God’s blueprint gets blocked from our view.

I get it, some of you are saying, “But you don’t understand my life hasn’t gone as planned. My construction process has had too many bad weather days – too many delays.” I agree, some things are simply out of our control. My clients have shared stories of unbelievable pain and heartache over the years. Bad weather happened that was never their fault nor within their control and it made them question whether God even saw them at all.

Delays and interference are a normal part of the process. The Bible is clear about that.  Paul tells us to be alert that there is a real enemy wanting to stop and thwart all of God’s plans for our lives (1 Peter 5:8). Sometimes the interference is in the form of painful experiences beyond our control. Other times it results from people who have hurt us and made us doubt and question God’s plan and vision for us. Sometimes we become the interference when we avoid dealing with our pain. The debris from life storms can take over our heart making us believe we aren’t enough and have been forgotten.

I will go into depth in the weeks to come regarding how healing and the construction process are similar, but for now let’s get a clearer view of the ways we overcome interference:

1. Design and construction are an integrated system. You can’t have one without the other. Therefore, in order to overcome interference we have to reconnect with our designer. No matter what we have been through, God’s vision and plan for our lives doesn’t change. He is just waiting for us to team back up with Him!
2. Design is God’s job, construction is ours. Construction simply means to implement the designer’s plan. God is not going to design a plan for you and then not give you the tools to implement it. He’s is just not that kind of God. We have to stop questioning that God wants to use us. He already has our unique blueprints drawn up.
3. Every job is custom designed and site specific. Your design and construction process will not look like anyone else’s. STOP THE COMPARISON! We all have different experiences and that means we will have different obstacles to overcome.
4. Every job requires hard work and a lot of time to complete – always more than expected. We don’t want quick fixes that don’t last. We want real transformation that stands strong even when the bad weather comes.
5. Even after the initial building is complete improvements and renovations will always be ongoing . Houses require maintenance and so do we. We need regular heart inspections – continually letting God bring areas to our awareness that need His touch!

I hope this encourages you to reconnect with your designer and get His blueprint for your life.  Be sure to stay tuned over the next 4 weeks as we will be discovering where you are in the construction “healing” process. I will be giving you tools and explaining in more detail the 4 building block construction process that we at Shine Healing Ministries use to guide women to healing: Awareness, Revealing, Rebuilding, and Shining!

Be Blessed ~ Be a Light!