Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
As a parent it can be disturbing to see in your kids characteristics you don’t want to admit you possess. Especially, when you run smack dab into the reality of, “Oh my gosh, I do that. She learned that from me!” I am grossly competitive. I don’t know if there is even a word to describe how competitive I am. I can’t even play a fun game of family baseball, an Easter tradition, without trying to win. Ugh. Ugly, I know. Even uglier is when the characteristic that are overboard in you, bleed into the little ones you are raising.
This became glaringly obvious one spring afternoon. We decided as a family to go to the local bike path for the first time since our youngest had learned how to ride without training wheels. Excited that we could all ride together and enjoy the scenery as a family, off we went. It turns out that competition turned into comparison can rob all involved of any fun that could be had. What should have been an exciting time, wasn’t. Our youngest had a new-found freedom to ride without restraint, but her mind couldn’t let her enjoy where she was. She was so worried about keeping up with her older sister, who had been riding without training wheels for three years now, that she failed to enjoy the journey.
My little one pushed herself tirelessly to try and keep up, always looking ahead at the distance between her and where her older sister was. At one point, she jumped off her bike, grabbed it with her little hands, and picked it up. She started running with all her might, but the weight of it dragged her down. Grunting, panting, and exhausting herself, all in an attempt to catch up to a place she wasn’t yet meant to be! When we are carrying something that was meant to carry us, we end up with skinned knees and wonder why. This was an “ah ha” moment for me for sure. God does that. He gives you a glimpse of something you don’t want to see, so He can free you from what you don’t know exist.
That little girl running with the bike, feeling left out and like she missed the boat, that was me; pushing, pulling, dragging, and carrying what didn’t seem to be going fast enough. Trying to make happen in my timing what God knew I wasn’t yet ready for. Thoughts swirled in my mind, “Look at what she is doing. My ministry isn’t as big as her’s. She is so young and I am so much older and I am not performing at her level.” When comparison mixes with competition everything turns ugly! Comparison robs destiny.
My eyes were always gazing too far in the distance, feeling as if I was being left behind. Never present to enjoy the moment. I was trying in my own strength to get to a place where my mind wasn’t yet prepared to go. God had places in me yet to heal and limiting beliefs that would keep me from maintaining the dream He had for me. If He gives things too early before we are ready, we run the risk of them slipping right through our hands. I was still stuck spinning on a hamster wheel, trying to catch up with someone else’s life. Until I let go of what I thought it should look like, He couldn’t give me what was truly mine.
The truth is, my back was about to break. I was carrying the weight of a ministry that God’s hands were meant to hold. God knew my legs were ready to give. He gently reached His hand out and asked if I wanted to jump off the wheel and hand back to Him what was His all along. He asked me to rest, to pause, and just give Him 40-days to prove to me His way was better. Thank God, this stubborn girl finally listened. I am forever changed. I have experienced what true freedom feels like. As I encountered Him, my eyes were opened to see things in a way I never had before, and I discovered that freedom is more about the journey, than the destination!
What are you carrying that God was meant to carry in your life? He wants to take the burden we’ve place on ourselves that we can’t possibly begin to hold. Spend time thing week giving back to Him what was meant to be His all along!
Be Blessed ~ Be a Light!
*This is an excerpt from my new book Shining Freely, coming the end of 2017!